The Wit and the RWBY
by Dalan777
Summary: Burning eyes; the most prominent feature of the victims. A man in black with an odd sword, appearing at the turning points of history. He shows up at Beacon one day on the same day a girl named Ruby Rose gets accepted. What secrets does he hold in this world of bloody evolution? Takes place in an alternate universe.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own the** ** _Stormlight Archives_** **or RWBY.**

 **Prologue**

Ozpin shuffled through the paperwork of all the new students coming to Beacon. He would occasionally set some aside, those that could not meet Beacon's qualifications. He eyed the sheet about the newest arrival, one Ruby Rose. Not even a huntress and already she had been involved in events that should not have concerned her. He somewhat regretted bringing her into his own personal battle, but he knew it was necessary. He needed a countermeasure for their enemies, and quickly, so he had taken the first one he could get. Qrow had been seething mad, of course, but had seen reason in the end. With Summer gone, this girl was their only option.

Ozpin was brought out of his thoughts by a voice, "I didn't know you'd become headmaster of Beacon Oz. Figures the first place I find you is the last place I look. Then again, why would I keep searching?"

Ozpin looked up to see a man, no more than 18, cloaked in black, the coat almost like a nobleman's or general's. He had short and messy black hair and the silver hilt of a sword was barely visibly at his waist. As far as Ozpin knew, this man had never drawn that sword. He'd never needed to, being just as dangerous without it.

"Hoid," Ozpin greeted as the man sauntered over to the desk, looking over the document on it. His eyes rested on Ruby's picture for a moment longer than the others. "Silver eyes," he noted.

Ozpin nodded. Hoid shrugged and started pacing the room, looking down at the glyphs drawn on the floor… glyphs of shardblades.

"It is nearly time, then." Ozpin said. Hoid's mere presence always seemed to signify some great change in fate.

Hoid nodded. "She's gathering her forces as we speak. The only thing we can do right now is wait for her to make the first move."

Ozpin looked at Hoid as he stopped. "They made the first move when they stole Amber's power." Hoid looked steadily at Ozpin, then nodded.

Hoid waved his hand and the perpendicularity in the office shimmered slightly. He looked back at Ozpin and grinned. "That's why you made me swear to help when I had to," he said, "Just don't forget our bargain."

Ozpin nodded again. He would never go back on his word to one like Hoid. People like that could destroy him with little effort.

Hoid stepped back through the perpendicularity and was gone, leaving Ozpin alone to his thoughts. He looked back at the documents on his desk thoughtfully and noticed something.

The one about Ruby Rose was missing.


	2. Insults First, Questions Later

**I don't own the** ** _Stormlight Archives_** **or RWBY.**

 **Chapter 1**

Ruby Rose, age of fifteen, weapon is a sniper rifle-scythe combination she calls crescent rose; high level of skill, semblance speed, no criminal record. Notable traits: silver eyes.

Hoid looked up from the document he had taken about Ruby towards the girl herself. He could see she had talent, but he could also see the innocence she still had. He snorted. That would disappear quickly, if she hoped to be a huntress.

He was currently sitting in an out of the way place on an airship to Beacon. He had decided not to travel by way of the cognitive realm and went on the airship to get a good read on this "last hope for humanity" that Ozpin had chosen. She was currently standing next to a tall blond, whom he had gathered, with how loud they were being, was the smaller girls sister. There wasn't much family resemblance.

Hoid looked at the news story on the holographic monitor in the ship. A faunus protest disrupted by the White Fang. He grinned slightly, noting they neglected to mention what happened to said White Fang. 'Of course,' he thought drily, 'corpses rarely talk about what killed them.' The burned out eyes had also been a warning to not look too far into this.

A yell from the place where Ruby and her sister were brought him out of his thoughts. Apparently someone had barfed on Yang's shoes. Hoid chuckled at the two girls antics, shaking his head in amusement. He looked at the boy who had probably done it. Short of Wit, that one was. Hoid chuckled again.

The airship finally landed and everyone disembarked. Hoid was among the last out, watching Ruby and her sister, Yang, as he learned her name after the vomit fiasco. He noticed a girl in white had also done the same thing he had, though that might be due to the amount of luggage she had brought. He shook his head. No better than the light eyes on Roshar. He watched as Ruby was ditched, then practically attacked by the girl in white for falling on her luggage. The girl in white took out a dust vial and started shaking it in Ruby's face, oblivious to the dust floating out of it. Sighing, Hoid walked up and snatched the dust vial from the girl, tightening the cap, then handing it back. Both girls just looked at him in surprise.

"Your rather loud arguing started getting on my nerves, and I figured getting killed by a sneeze was a rather stupid way to go, even for huntresses starting out. I must also say that the idea of color coding yourself was either remarkably stupid or remarkably smart since you either are going to attract the attention of every enemy you face or you're trying to glow in the dark and give everyone a clean shot at yourself to save your future teammates. I'm sure they will tribute their survival due to your poor taste in clothes. I wouldn't be surprised if that was the only case of dust in this whole luggage train and every other case was full of the death wish clothes." Hoid had been without his weekly dose of insult giving and had a lot of pent up energy. It was at this point he let it all out.

The girl in white could just stand their in shock, trying to comprehend the long winded insult Hoid had just given her, until finally turning red in the face and stomping off.

"I promise I'll make this up to you!" Ruby called out to her retreating back before turning to Hoid.

"I've been aching to try that out on someone but I've never had someone with poor enough battle clothing taste to try it yet." Hoid said. He turned to the shorter girl. "Of course, reactions are always the best with the short tempered, arrogant, weight throwing… did I just call her fat? I believe I did."

Ruby just stared at him. "Of course, the color coded clothing could also be applied to anyone at this school, apparently. I hadn't realized dresses in combat were so popular these days. It takes a bravely stupid person to where one, considering they are consciously subjecting themselves to limited mobility and stealth. I admire your courage in making a target of yourself." Hoid continued, glancing down at the large skirt she was wearing.

Ruby continued to stare until finally saying "Thanks, I think?" Hoid nodded in turn, grinning, then turned towards the center building. He noticed the puking boy from earlier walking around looking confused.

"We'd better grab him then get to the auditorium. The introduction should start soon." Ruby let out a little yelp as she realized she might be late before the first day of school. Hoid simply smiled, guiding her and the blond over to the large room before quietly taking his leave. He looped around the large building to a side entrance. He would need to speak to Ozpin once the introduction was over.


	3. A Third Party

**I know the last few chapters have been mostly Hoid monitoring people, but some action sill come up soon, if not in this chapter. Also, I am going to introduce an OC soon. Now, on to the main show.**

 **I don't own the** ** _Stormlight Archives_** **or RWBY.**

 **Chapter 2**

As Ozpin stepped off the stage, he saw Hoid waiting. His normal grin didn't reach his eyes as he held out his scroll to Ozpin. On it was a picture of dozens of White Fang grunts lying on the ground, quite obviously dead. Their masks were removed to reveal burned out eye sockets.

Glynda walked past the two men, nodding to Ozpin and glaring at Hoid before continuing on to leave the two to their private conversation. She had learned a long time ago that sticking around Hoid for an extended period of time gave one a headache, especially if you tried keeping up with his sense of humor. He was a lot like Qrow, actually.

Hoid spoke up. "I couldn't find anything about the one who did this. Any witnesses swore they never saw a thing, which should be impossible, since a five foot glowing sword leaving a trail of corpses is not inconspicuous. It does, however, confirm that there's a third party in all of this."

"The question is which side are they on." said Ozpin, but Hoid was shaking his head.

"The question is, where did they get a shardblade in the first place. As far as I know, they should only be on Roshar."

"You're worried it's another world hopper." said Ozpin. Hoid nodded. If this was true, then this third party might very well be more dangerous than the Queen, or even Hoid. At least Hoid couldn't harm people.

"I'll look for any odd occurrences, but there isn't much I can do without the proper information. It feels odd not knowing anything about a possible enemy. I have no idea how you put up with it." Hoid said.

Ozpin frowned. "We will just have to let them make the first move, then." Hoid grinned.

"I see your addiction to chess phrases has not left you. One wonders about the impacts this can have on the people under you." Ozpin looked away.

"In any case, I'll return after the initiation tomorrow. Right now, I have some worlds to hop to and some information to collect." Hoid said before turning and walking away. As he went Ozpin heard him mutter something about the similarities between the attacks on the Fang and a man wearing white. He filed the information away in his mind, deciding to ask about it later. Maybe there was a connection between the Fang and this man in white.

Or maybe not.

In an abandoned warehouse on the edge of the city, a man carrying a small dagger walked out into the light of day. He breathed a deep sigh of relief and let go of the dagger he was holding, watching it puff away into mist. He simply continued on, leaving the warehouse far behind him, and if one looked close enough, one might have noticed a thin veil of smoke seeping out of a crack in the roof, as if someone had been burning something inside.


	4. Wit With Purpose

**Been a while huh? so confession... my computer died and eliminated all my stuff on stories. So, yeah. Excuse out of the way, Chapter 4 of** **The Wit and the RWBY** **. I would like to point out that while Hoid is limited to not harming people, he is still allowed to kill soulless abominations.**

 **I don't own the** ** _Stormlight Archives_** **or RWBY.**

Hoid was not happy. He'd hopped through several worlds, searched all around Roshar, and still couldn't find anything on the man who'd come to Remnant. Saying he was annoyed would be putting it lightly, and even his boundless patience had run out. He sighed and went back to Beacon, walking into the cafeteria as everyone was waking in the ballroom. A simple meal of pancakes and bacon later, he was waiting with Ozpin by the cliff face, a row of spring boards in front of him. He poked at one, his old mood and grin returning.

"Honestly, Ozpin, your the only one whose come up with such a brilliant way of testing kids in all the cosmere. Launching them into a forest filled with deadly creatures at high speeds? I'd think I came up with it myself."

"Your sense of humor must be rubbing off on me."

"Clearly not, or you'd be completely unbearable to be around," Came the snappy reply. Hoid stood up, watching the students drift out of the school, weapons in hand. Whose bright idea was it to make everything a gun anyway? It has so many moving parts the likelihood of it jamming is stupidly high. The blacksmiths in this world lack Wit.

Hoid tuned out Ozpin, noting three girls looking at him. White and Ruby he knew from the other day, though Yang hadn't been there. He supposed Ruby must have told her about their encounter.

The pads started launching and the moment of recollection ended. Hoid watched all the students fly through the air, the last one, Vomit Boy he believed his name was, flapping his arms desperately and screaming until a flash of red and Gold sent him shooting to the side. A muffled thank you made Hoid chuckle before he walked to the edge of the cliff himself.

"It would be easier to keep an eye on them all using the cameras, you know," Ozpin said.

"I'm only interested in a few, and besides, I have a bit of... energy I need to use up after searching for so long."

Ozpin nodded and said nothing else. Hoid casually waved. Then dropped off the side of the cliff.

Hoid landed quite gracefully for a fall off a 50 meter cliff, by which I mean that when his legs broke and repaired, he was in a sitting position against the cliff wall, quite casual. He stood up and calmly walked into the forest, knowing any grimm close to the cliff would be passed over by students. The first thing he ran into was a rather large pack of beowolves, about 25 in total, and several ursai. Hoid simply smiled. It had been a while since he could let loose. He wanted to retain his edge.

Hoid drew the silver rapier at his side, the short blade shimmering and catching the eye of the alpha, the grimm barely having time to turn before the blade speared out, going straight through the eye to the brain. The other grimm noticed the black cloaked figure as their leader dissolved, howling war cries as Hoid simply smiled.

"You creatures truly are the things keeping me from losing my Wit," Hoid said. Perhaps he needed a new joke, he pondered as the grimm charged.

 **And that's done. So I am not the best writer and my main challenge is writing good dialogue and fight scenes. I was serious when I said I was running out of jokes. Anyway, that's it for now, and the next three chapters should be posted over the next few days. Please leave a review, I like getting feedback whether criticism or praise, and stay tuned. Until next time, where we see** **How Dangerous Ones Wit Can Be** **.**


	5. How Dangerous Ones Wit Can Be

**I don't own the** ** _Stormlight Archives_** **or RWBY.**

The first beowolf to reach Hoid raised its arms to deliver a wide swipe. It got a sword to the throat for it's trouble. Hoid slashed to the left cutting another's eye, before thrusting right, spearing yet another through the heart. The beowolves rushed forward, trying to crush the intruder with their numbers. Hoid did a quick double thrust, taking out two of them then spun and slashed the flankers on the left. The right flankers rushed forward, seeing an opening.

Until the silver dueling blade turned into a blur. Hoid walked forward, making the beowolves before him retreat as the flanking beowolves seemed to realize they were dead, puffing away into smoke. Hoid's grin never faltered, as he rushed the beowolves, slashing and thrusting. The ursai finally made their presence known as they lumbered forward, smashing the ground with their heavy paws. It would have crushed Hoid, had he not used the beowolf pack as cover, the ursai smashing through their own allies. Hoid continued slashing around him, using the beowolves as shields and cutting down their numbers. The pack was reduced to only six when the ursai finally reached him.

Hoid kicked off the nearest beowolf, landing on top of an ursa and stabbing it through the back of the neck, severing it's spinal cord. The grimm collapsed as Hoid leapt forward slashing straight through another ursa's mask. The major of the group hung back as it's minors rushed forward. The first reared up to add extra power to it's hit. Hoid cut it's throat. He ran through the large grimm, aiming for any weak points in the armor. The major trundled forward as the last of it's lackeys was killed, careful to keep it's head down and relying on it's spikes to protect it. Hoid jumped over and slashed at the unprotected shoulder joint, disabling the ursa's arm and making it topple sideways. He turned around and thrust at the underbelly of the major, killing it. The remaining beowolves turned to run, but Hoid decided to finish the fight and dashed forward. A quick thrust to each had them drifting away into smoke.

Hoid sheathed his blade and let out a deep breath. It had been a while since he could truly fight something. He walked into the woods to search for the students. He pulled out the temporary scroll Ozpin had given him, searched the camera feeds for a location, and quickly found the girl he was searching for. Looked like she had paired up with White. Truly, their teams would thank them for their sacrifice to wear such obvious clothes to draw attention. Then again, Hoid thought, they're training against grimm. They have no idea about the true threats this world holds. He strode away into the forest, vaguely wondering how the two would deal with the giant nevermore following them if the feather was anything to go by.

A certain faunus walked into a small apartment. Closing and locking the door be hind him, he collapsed onto his couch, letting out a tired sigh. The man had just gotten done working through the day moving large boxes of dust to transports and his back was killing him. He vaguely wondered what the Fang would do with such large amounts of dust, but decided to leave the thought for another day. He relaxed and quickly fell asleep, which was why he never saw the glowing blade slice through the lock and bolt on his door, never heard the man walk into the room, and why when the smoke alarms went off and the fire department got the call, they found him dead with two burned out sockets for eyes.

 **So, the combat for this chapter. Please give me some feedback for it and ways to improve it. this is the first time I've written a full fight scene and I thought it went rather well, but it would be great to get a second perspective. Anyways, I'll be making more chapters for this soon, so stay tuned. BTW, if you're wondering about why Wit drew the sword when I mentioned that he didn't need to, I figure that him not knowing something and being frustrated and the fact that no one saw him drawing the blade were good enough reasons. Ozpin's cameras are farther out in the forest after all.**


	6. Hah!

**I don't own** ** _Stormlight Archives_** **or Rwby.**

Hoid walked through the woods, looking back and forth, searching for a certain duo. They had been in this area not so long ago and if they had gone north he should find them soon. As he came upon a clearing, he noticed a long trail of flames, kindly putting it out using ice dust before continuing. Honestly, what had the girls been thinking, using fire dust in a forest. He'd have to rectify that later.

Hoid finally came to the edge of the forest, seeing a large temple with empty pedestals. The field in front of him was littered with black arrows and a rather large chunk of broken ice, reminding him slightly of a similar field of swords, hundreds of men simply walking away as those who remained fought over them. He let the memory go and continued once more, finally coming to a now broken bridge and four teens staring in awe at the rather dramatic beheading that had just happened. Hoid saw the huge body of the bird fall from the top of the cliff. So they had managed to beat it. Hoid grinned and walked out to the group.

"So, you are competent fighters after all. Consider me impressed," he called out. A sword at his throat, held by an angry Weiss Schnee, as he'd taken the time to read up on the students during his walk, was the response. "Tell me why I shouldn't cut out your tongue for those remarks from the other day," she said, a rather panicked Ruby trying to get down the mountain while the rest of the soon to be team was wondering how she'd dashed so quickly over the empty chasm where the bridge once stood. Jaune, remembering Hoid as the person who'd kindly pointed him and Ruby in the direction of the auditorium, was wondering what Hoid had said to annoy Weiss so much and if he should step in.

"Because it's my job to annoy people like you, because I can offer you the quickest way out of this forest, and because the likelihood of that toothpick you're holding actually doing any harm to me is less than the likelihood that the weapons of every hunter in this world will malfunction at the same moment in time," Hoid responded. Weiss' eyes narrowed, but she lowered her rapier, not because she believed the first and last things he said, but because she was rather tired and anything to shorten the journey back to campus would be welcome.

Ruby finally dropped from the cliff, having to climb down without Weiss' glyphs, and panting slightly. Yang had used her shotguns to boost herself over the gap while Blake used her clones. Ruby leapt over with a shot from her sniper rifle that somehow had not run out of bullets yet. Hoid looked to the others, "So, are we leaving anytime soon? I'm quite happy with standing here but the rest of you color coordinated bunch have got to be tired and could likely use a shower and some food." At the mention of both of those things, Everyone perked up and, in unspoken agreement, resolved to follow him. Hoid grinned again and turned to lead them back.

* * *

The next day, the now much refreshed teams went to class like normal, having a short day after the initiation, only having grimm studies that day. The next they would have that as well as history and combat class. Everyone looked forward to combat class, the chance to show off their skills in front of everyone and to see how they compared. When they all walked in, however, they had the feeling that they'd walked into the wrong class, as an easily recognizable figure waved to them. "Ah, there's the bright and colorful bullseyes. Welcome to combat class. I'll be your teacher and if you knew how ironic this was you'd burst out laughing," said Hoid, his signature grin on his face and silver rapier at his side. This constantly insulting and barely older than them man was the teacher for their most important class? "You?!" came the rather incredulous shout from both groups and Hoid's grin widened even farther as he remembered similar incredulousness from a prince and his fiance. "Me."

 **That's that. I know it's been a while since I've updated this story. I'm running out of material for Hoid and to be honest I'm not very good at snarky characters to begin with even though they're my favorite in stories like these. Anyway, no mysterious assassin this time, but he'll show up again soon. Please review and give me your thoughts, criticism or praise, and stay tuned for the next installment of The Wit and the RWBY.**


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